---
title: My Girlfriend is Pregnant, Now What?
description: Dealing with an unplanned pregnancy? Learn how to support your partner, explore your options, and find resources available to help you both move forward.
image: https://www.yourwomenscenter.org/hubfs/Imported_Blog_Media/iStock-1772108548.jpg
---
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# My Girlfriend is Pregnant, Now What?
1. You didn’t expect this, but you just got the word: She’s pregnant. In situations like these, you don’t have much control, but you do have plenty of influence. How you react to and support your partner will reflect more about your character than likely any event in your life up to this point.
As such, it’s essential to keep a level head and respond instead of reacting. In this blog, we’ll help you understand what she’s feeling, what your options are, and where you can go from here. Need answers now? Text with a nurse free of cost [(802)-883-3636](https://www.yourwomenscenter.org/helpful-advice/demo1-blog/pregnant-girlfriend/sms:+8028833636).
## Is My Girlfriend Pregnant?
Before responding at all, it’s important to know whether or not your girlfriend is actually pregnant. If you two haven’t already, [you need to take a pregnancy test](https://www.yourwomenscenter.org/pregnancy-test).
If you’ve already had a positive pregnancy test, then the next step is to [confirm the pregnancy with an ultrasound](https://www.yourwomenscenter.org/free-ultrasounds). We recommend this because a positive pregnancy test doesn’t necessarily mean she’s pregnant. Pregnancy tests merely detect hormones that come with a pregnancy, not that the fetus is living and viable.
[The Women's Center](https://www.yourwomenscenter.org/free-ultrasounds) offers ultrasounds for your partner at no charge and you are welcome to join her for her appointment.
What Not to Do When Your Girlfriend is Pregnant
In situations like these, you’re likely feeling like everything is out of your control, and to a great extent, it is. Before getting into what you should do, let’s start with what you shouldn’t do.
1\. Don’t Walk Away.
When things get stressful, your fight or flight response gets triggered. Resist it. She’s undergoing way more stress than you right now.
You may feel the urge to run away and avoid the situation entirely – Don’t.
2\. Don’t Fight.
What’s even more tempting is to take out your anxiety on her. Her emotions are running high, as well as yours, so fights are incredibly likely.
Your role in this situation is simply to listen and affirm.
You might feel pressure to fix everything right now. But what she needs most is your steady presence, not perfect answers. Just being there can be more powerful than you realize.
What Options Are There?
There are three options available to your partner: She can choose to carry the pregnancy to term and have the child, place them up for adoption, or abort the pregnancy altogether.
Unmarried women with an unplanned pregnancy usually choose to carry 60 percent of the time and abort 40 percent of the time.1 Remember, an abortion is a serious decision, and not one you should be pressuring her towards. Women who choose abortion due to pressure from their partner usually suffer from severe mental health issues, including PTSD as a result.2 Never pressure a woman to abort.
“I’m Not Ready to Be a Dad.”
You’re likely not opposed to the idea of being a dad … someday. You just didn’t imagine “someday” to be so soon. The truth is: no one feels fully ready to be a dad (or mom). But fatherhood can call out a deeper part of you; a part that learns to protect, provide, and grow. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. You just have to be willing to keep showing up and take the right next step.
What it really takes to be a great dad is simply your commitment and attitude. Are you available, willing, and able to learn? Don’t get psyched out by worries over your finances, social freedoms, or lost future opportunities. There’s plenty of [assistance available to you](https://www.yourwomenscenter.org/for-men) and your partner and most other concerns seem superficial after your child arrives.
Think about it this way: Plenty of men regret giving up on their opportunity to be a father. There are rarely ever men who regret their decision to be a dad.
### Support in Middlebury and Ticonderoga Areas
As mentioned, you don’t have to take on the challenge of fatherhood alone. [The Women's Center](https://www.yourwomenscenter.org/) supports both you and your partner with relationship counseling, tangible baby supplies, and fatherhood mentorship opportunities at no charge. Please also [check out our parenting resource page](https://www.yourwomenscenter.org/prenatal-parenting-support) for more helpful information.
Sources
1. [https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-and-abortion-northern-america](https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/unintended-pregnancy-and-abortion-northern-america)
2. [https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/08862605241253026](https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/08862605241253026)
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**Here For You**
The Women's Center in Middlebury, VT and Ticonderoga, NY is committed to providing you with everything you need to make an informed pregnancy decision. We believe women and men have a right to get accurate information from a resource that will not profit from the choices and pregnancy decisions they make. All our services are free and confidential.
The Women's Center is a 501c3 non-profit in the states of Vermont and New York. While we do not provide or refer for abortion services, we can answer your questions about side effects, what to expect, and more. We do not profit from any of your sexual health or pregnancy decisions. Contact us to learn more.
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